Army Social Work

Discomfort should be the part of everyones’s plan in life, because the only way to create comfort zones, is through discomfort. 

Honestly, sometimes I wonder about the nature of our thoughts. The old “devil and angel on the shoulder” melee strikes true as we find ourselves in uncomfortable situations.

I think what makes us all relate as humans is the very fact that all of us experience situations that trigger discomfort. Be it public speaking, making tough choices, managing intricate relationships, or (fill in the blank here). 

Have you ever experienced a fear of heights? It’s a pretty common occurrence. The closer we get to the edge, the louder our minds and bodies yell at us to stop. This makes complete sense, right? The cliff is an obvious threat to survival. This system of neurology is put in place to keep humans alive, fear is a motivator to keep humans safe. 

But here’s the catch:

That fear system is highly susceptible to high jacking. In the cliff scenario, one could substitute “public speaking”, “ending a relationship”, “taking a test”, or anything, really. The closer we get to these events, the more our minds and bodies yell at us to stop. It’s easy to see how we can get caught up in ruts, and here in lies the foundation of some of our common mental health issues. 

Humans are amazing because of the effectiveness of the brain. The brain is designed for countless functions, but its primary and most primitive function is survival. The brain will do anything to deter us from doing something it deems as dangerous. Here’s the dysfunction, the brain can fail to properly identify things as dangerous, such as: public speaking, making new friends, taking a test, you name it. And once the brain does that, it creates internal discord to avoid these respective events. It will tell the body to release cortisol as we experience stress, it will tell the kidney’s to release adrenaline to prepare to fight or flight, it will shut of the prefrontal cortex so the mind can’t plan ahead effectively. 

The brain also does something amazing after the stress inducing experience, it utilizes systems to relax the body, which is intended to reinforce the behavior. Using the above scenario, the human gets close to the edge of a cliff, the body experiences fear and tells the body to avoid the cliff at all costs, the body then steps away from the cliff, and the human is able to experience relief from the stress. Again, this system is effective as it avoids threats to survival. 

Now look at this system this way: The human gets closer to ending an unhealthy relationship, the mind perceives the event as stressful and threatening, the mind activates stress reaction functions, which tells the human to step back to avoid the stressful experience. In conclusion, the human continues to be in the unhealthy relationship, setting up the groundwork for deeper depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues. 

Bringing back the angel and the devil analogy. The angel tells us to leave the relationship, the devil telling you to stay. 

Every human experiences this phenomena, however our fears may differ. I find this to be connecting as a species. We all have fears, and we all engage in behaviors to avoid the fear, and when we do, we find that we get caught up in ruts. It takes bravery to face our fears. We are astonished when humans overcome fears, because we are secretly dreaming to face our own. 

I find myself contemplating this system this weekend as I challenged my own fears this last week. I absolutely despise being the center of attention, but given the nature of my career, needed to address it. This last week I found myself in multiple situations putting me in front a host of people. I experienced the stress reaction system mentioned above, but found that the more I chose to face my fear, the quieter my fears became. I found myself becoming more and more comfortable speaking in front of people and guiding them to perform various functions. 

When broken down, the more we embrace the discomfort, the more we grow.

Think about it, have you experienced true growth from a place of comfort? Does the body builder get stronger by only lifting a light weight? Does the student earn a PhD by only learning elementary philosophies? Did Nelson Mandela become one the greatest leaders in the world without his imprisonment? 

Think about your heroes, or reflect on your life situations, the more you practiced discomfort, the more confidence you gained in acceptance new challenges. I am forever grateful to live in a world and in a career where I will always be able to challenge myself. 

Discomfort should be the part of everyones’s plan in life, because the only way to create comfort zones, is through discomfort.